Rest of you Guys till then enjoy these few fishy jokes
Joke 1: Two brothers are out for the day in their tin boat. The first one hooks into a big one, fights it for a half hour or so and when the fish finally tires he brings it to the boat. it is the drop-dead oddest fish they have ever seen. before they can drop it into the cooler the fish says, "I'm an enchanted fish and if you'll let me go I'll grant your any wish." Well the boys are a bit skeptical but they decide he's too ugly to eat so they drop the fish over the gunnel. looking up from the lake, the fish says "ok, what will it be???" Before having time to think the first brother says, "all right, turn the lake into budweiser!" Before you know it POOF! The lake turns into a foaming vat of beer. "Now why did you go and do a damn fool thing like that" the other brother says, "Now we'll have to pee in the boat!!!!"
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Joke 2 : A guy rings his boss. I can't come to work today. The boss asks why? The Guy says it's my eyes. What's wrong with your eyes the boss asks? I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead...
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Joke 3: Mother
to daughter
advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day, but gift your man a fishing rod and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
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Joke 4 : Old man rocking on his porch sees a young kid and his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" he calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answers the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish. Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" he calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it! Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers the old man. But sure enough, as the sun is setting the old man sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it! Next day, old man rocking on his porch sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some pussy willows. "Now hold on just a minute" calls the old man, "while I get my hat!!"
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Joke 5 : It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. But, shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son, I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spit the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"
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Joke 6 : A woman takes a lover home while her husband is out fishing. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$250" In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball glove." The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy - "$750" Man - "Fine." A few days later, the father says to the boy,"Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" Boy -"$1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that again".
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Joke 7 :
Two guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?" The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
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Joke 8 : An angler said : I was given the ultimatum 3 weeks ago... She said it's me or your fishing! Gee I miss her...
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What is said and What it really meant :
When anglers say :
1) We got a lot of fish! they mean {The rest of the guys caught all of these - I got nothing }
2) This fish put up a great fight {It cost me a fortune at the Market }
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